“Cocaine Bear” Review

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“Cocaine Bear” Rating: 1.5/5

If the concept of a bear on cocaine sounds interesting…then this might be worth seeing. Here, we encounter a random group of people who encounter a black bear. The twist: it’s eaten a batch of lost cocaine via a drug operation gone wrong. The bear manages to lose control and terrorize these individuals. Will anyone make it out alive?

Positives

I’ll admit right away, movies like this aren’t my cup of tea. On occasion, I’ve managed to have fun with B-movie schlock. Having a good time at the theater is all we need sometimes. I think “Cocaine Bear” will find an audience that revels in the campy tone and ridiculous premise.

The cast is surprisingly good here. Big names like Ray Liotta, Keri Russel, and Jesse Tyler Ferguson are just a handful of stars who show up. I enjoyed seeing them embrace the wonkiness of the film.

Negatives

Unfortunately, I didn’t care for “Cocaine Bear” at all. I went in wanting to enjoy the goofiness, but found myself more annoyed the longer the film went on. At minimum, I wanted to see a bear massacring a group of stupid people (per the marketing). Having the bear on cocaine might have made this even funnier. However, the film squanders the ridiculous premise for long periods of slow, bearless sequences with nauseating characters. I know they’re meant to be stupid, but c’mon, this was just ridiculous!

What’s even more frustrating is that there were multiple groups of these stupid characters, getting more screen time than they deserved. We didn’t come to see a story about them. A movie about a bear doing cocaine didn’t need three different groups of characters spouting off horrendous dialogue.

I won’t knock the visuals much because I’m sure they were intended to be campy. Just something to keep in mind. We’re also treated to multiple post credit scenes. Normally we leave this to Marvel and DC, but is “Cocaine Bear” teasing a drug riddled animal universe? One can hope! *sarcasm*

Conclusion

“Cocaine Bear” is a schlocky, uneven B-movie that manages to fumble its ridiculous premise. Instead of delivering a dumb good time, it diverts with terrible characters and a lack of killer bear. Don’t expect a resounding growl from this one.

Instead, disappointment and a lighter wallet is all you’ll be thinking about, wishing you went and saw something else. Skip this unless a cocaine riddled bear sounds…fun? Otherwise, stay away from this animal!

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